It's funny how life pushes you out of places where you clearly don't belong.
Many of you may remember that a short time ago (about a month and a half) I secured a new job at an office that had their production facilities below the office spaces. I was beyond excited about the opportunity as it meant forward momentum for me, normal 9 to 5 hours, and something new to try out.
The past two weeks, all of that unraveled on me. I was catching on, but there was SO much information to take in. I tried ridiculously hard to be up to speed but in the end, I didn't quite live up to expectations.
I don't know how it is in other office jobs, but this one literally required me to have about 10 tabs open on the screen and toggle through all those while I was on the phone, listening to the customer, writing down what the customer said, making a million memos on the customer's account, all the while trying to find information for the customer and responding back to them when my attention was literally on 8 things at once. Not to mention, I had orders to input which required 2 giant checklists to go over before turning it in. I've never been on speed, but I imagine that's how it must feel - all. day. long. Ugh!
Needless to say, I am not cut out for office work in the least bit and my employer and I mutually agreed that it wasn't a good fit. I was devastated. I have never before in my life been let go from ANY job. In fact, many times my manager of my last job as well as other people in the company told me I was "irreplaceable" and that it would be very difficult to fill my shoes.
I have had past CEOs of companies state to all-store manager meetings, "How do we get more Nicoles?" I take great pride in my work as well as always strive for the best I can do.
And yet, at an office job I am completely expendable.
However.... you can't say you don't like something if you don't try it, right? I do know that now I will NEVER be applying for an office job ever again if I can help it. I don't like being trapped at a desk and not talking to people. Working retail is definitely my element and I will be looking back into retail management in the coming weeks. I have one place that I'd love to be, but I'm not sure if that will happen. I can only hope for the best.
On the bright side, I currently have a bit of time to be working on my PDF pattern, the Petra Dress!
I'm excited to try grading on the computer once I get my patterns digitized (Max needs to finish installing programs on my computer) and then get this pattern out to testers! My goal is to have Manic Pop be mainly retro-ish PDF patterns as well as selling one-of-a-kind items (or a few of a kind?) to stores that carry independent designer labels.
Perhaps this is what life is pushing me into: working on growing Manic Pop and the PDF patterns. This is something I have been wanting for a very, very long time. Dear Life: I still need to pay the bills!
I am confident that whatever happens in the coming weeks is what is supposed to happen, regardless of if it's an easy transition or not. Life is never easy, and anything that's worth having is never easy. But I am willing to put my all into it.
I just want a life where I get to be creative, get to talk with other creative people who might have funny stories, and make a living doing it.
No matter where I go or end up, I know that I will always embody the "Live. Work. Create." motto. I'm a creative Industrialist for life!
|(Illustration by me.)|