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Never Go to the Mall On Saturday

So for some reason, I thought that it was a good idea to subject myself to the mall today. Why go to a mall just north of Chicago on Saturday? I do not know. I was looking for shoes and all the teenagers were looking for... people to look at them. I felt like I had stepped into the movie Mean Girls and everyone was staring at me because I was wearing the "wrong clothes". Whoops.

Seriously, girls were upset at me for walking faster than them, a child laughed and pointed at me before the elevator doors closed at Target (me being the only one in the elevator!)  People looked at me like I was a Mennonite who happened to wander into a mall. I wondered what kind of hell I had actually walked into. None of them staring at me would have ever guessed I am a fashion designer. 

Absolutely everything in this outfit is from my favorite thrift store: skirt, turtleneck sweater, belt. At one point, I thought I needed to hem this skirt just a little higher but I actually like where it is now.

After I came home (with only one pair of jeans and one sweater), I realized this outfit was better than most things I could have bought at the dumb mall. I meant to actually treat myself to new clothes for once but didn't find anything!

Many clothes these days no matter where I go - not just the mall - are flashy, showy, have a bunch of cutouts, sparkle, jingle, are neon, or are see-through. Who is wearing all of this?!  The only time I have actually gotten recently excited over is either at Marshall's, T.J. Maxx, or a thrift store.

 I feel sad for many teenagers these days - God forbid there is a weird girl mixed in there somewhere, I can only imagine that teenagers nearby or in Chicago must be ruthless. You have to look like this, this, or this but never that.

I'm almost a decade out of high school now and I hardly remember anyone being super-harsh. Sure, you had people who were jerks, but I feel like everyone generally let others do their own thing with minimal (if any) bullying. I had a small crew of girls make snide remarks about/at me in specific classes, but I think anyone has a handful of those around. What are those girls doing now? God only knows. I would say that I overall was very confident and took pride in being "the weird girl".

The only good shot I got of me and Beezy! She wanted to be in the photo. 

Overall I am glad that in most cases, I am able to wear what I want when I want and no one is "concerned" about it being the "it" thing. Fashion is getting to be a little more widely accepted (as a whole) with the general public as more about individual style versus jumping on every trend that is "in" this season. 

Sure, you have your "fashionistas" who are still all about following what Nylon is telling you to wear (don't get me started about how that magazine was once really great and innovative but totally fell off the boat), but then you have people who genuinely like dressing and dress for themselves. And that's who you should dress for! 

I make fashion because I hate fashion. Truly, this is how it started for me! I do have a few magazine subscriptions (InStyle being my favorite) but those magazines as well as fashion websites, etc are all inspiration not Fashion Bible. No one outlet should ever be taken as "Bible" as far as fashion is concerned. 

The overall message I want people to get is to have fun with it if you're into clothing. If you want to look like you're pretty much wearing a costume one day? So be it. It doesn't matter. 

In the end, those teenagers at the mall don't matter. I was just having an off day - winter makes me feel un-cute and nothing is appealing in my closet and all my boots are ruined. I wanted to finally indulge in some "retail therapy", but realized that it doesn't exist for me. My "retail therapy" is actually making something new and amazing to wear.  It's not as instant as I would like, but that's how I am.

About an hour and a half in, I had conceded defeat. I bought some froyo and stood by the candy machines with my coat slung haphazardly over my bag since there was nowhere to sit (sure as hell wasn't going to sit alone in the "lunch room".) And then -in all my weird glory - a little girl of about 9 years old (very precocious) steps away from her friend and looks straight up at me. "You're really pretty," she said, confidently. I said thank you and she returned to her candy selection with her friend. 

That was all I had needed for today. I guess I too, had gone to the mall, looking for attention.

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