Saturday, March 6, 2010

Between The Burgers

Something super-cheesy I dug up from my music journal. Maybe I should continue posting on there, but I feel like this one may be a bit more "anonymous" than that one.

So... and ex-boyfriend of mine and I spent about an hour coming up with this one day, laughing our asses off at how ridiculous this was. It still is ridiculous.

Originally written: July 3, 2008.

As if a clothing line, a record label, and a bar in the East Village weren't enough, Pete Wentz goes ahead and opens up a restaurant in Chicago, stupidly titled "Angels & Kings". {"Fueled By Ramen" was even dumber though, so I suppose I should be grateful for the upgrade.} And he has enough money, so why not, right? In 2 years when his band breaks up, he'll at least have a healthy income coming from those investments - people who are still "die hard" Pete Wentz fans even though the trend is over...

Dave and I were talking about all this this morning for whatever reason while I jokingly wondered aloud to myself, "What if our favorite band Sloan had opened up their own restaurant?" The next thing we know, we're making up what the place would be called, what they would serve, and who would be part of what in the restaurant.

I'm not sure it would be very funny unless you get all the Sloan references we made, but this is what we ended up coming up with early this morning, complete with a commercial and everything:

"Between the Burgers" {the name of the restaurant}.

First of all, the commercial which would make you want to go eat at Between the Burgers. Yeah, it looks like a pretty average commercial for like, Applebee's or something, but you have to have Chris on the commercial, complete with all the action kicks and a guitar. It kind of looks like "Money City Maniacs" but with food. "Gimme That" is playing in the background, and Chris tells you to bring along the Junior Panthers {the kids. For delivery, pick it up and dial it!

Once you get there, you actually will meet the members of the band. At least, they'll be involved in the whole process of getting your meal to you.
Of course, the actual members of the band wouldn't work there - we just used it for comedy value.

Andrew - Chef - Some of his quotes would include, "I don't remember how to make that." {referencing how in the documentary part in A Sides Win, he says he "remembers everything" but then when asked he doesn't remember anything.} Jay has also mentioned in the Let's Get Baked with Matt and Dave podcast that Andrew is the "gourmand" of the band, so this is fitting. We imagine Andrew pissed-off looking, in the back with a hat on and a spatula in hand.

Chris - Host - This one is completely obvious as to why.

Patrick - Waiter - Some of his quotes would be "Can't you figure it out?" when people ask him if they could have more time to look at the menu as well as "What's there to decide?"

Jay - Busboy. Jay's polite and shy/quiet demeanor leads him to be the busboy and Dave and I just imagined him hushedly asking, "Are you finished with that ma'am? Can I take your plate away?" Also, picture Jay in a little hat and an apron with a rag over his shoulder.... sorry Jay, we love you but the image in our minds is too funny. Jay would also thank you for coming out tonight. "I wanna thank you". :)

Now the menu? Well, it looks like a setlist, written in black marker. It could change almost every night like a setlist as well.


Sinking Dips (Chips and a gourmet dip)
Golden Eyes onion rings
Great Wall of fries

Blackout bean salad
Take Good Care of the Po' Boy Sandwich
The Action Pact Burger
Seems So Heavy 1/2 lb. Burger
Baby Backstabbin' ribs
Can't Face Up Sandwich
False Alarm Chili
400 Weiners
The Iggy & Angus Beefsteak
People of the Sky Chicken Sandwich
Sizzleteen Fajitas

Junior Panthers: (Kid's Menu)
All items from regular menu, but smaller portions.

500 Up
Coke fizz
Light Beers
Cheap Champagne

Don't feel like stopping in? Well then Greg will be Delivering Maybes to your door. Just call the number on the back of the menu.

Obviously, we have too much time on our hands..

And here is "Money City Maniacs". Just try to imagine a shortened version for the fake commercial we joked about.

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